Saturday, September 24, 2011

The wallpaper



I watched her sitting in the corner of library. She had neatly arranged 5 pencils, 2 pens, 3 erasers, 1 blue marker, 2 black markers and 1 pink marker in front of her books- I could have completed my B.Tech and Ph.D (maybe double Ph.D) with that much of stationery. She fiddled with her hair- realized she was acting stupid, got conscious and looked around to see if anybody was watching. I quickly looked down to avoid being caught staring at her and started reading some text book that made no sense. Sadly, the book had to make sense soon, as I had my exam tomorrow- but then I looked above and got lost again.

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I asked her for one final time- give me your answer in yes or no. She was feeling strained- I've not decided yet. I don't care. Give me an answer. I'll go mad without an answer. Yes.- she said. I felt guilty of forcing her to say yes. But then I looked at her. A drop of tear appeared on corner of her eye. I thought of being the devil- to accept the yes that was said forcefully. How could I let her go? I'm sorry for forcing you to give an answer. Just was irritated as have waited for more than a year now for your answer. I'll be there for you. Take your time. I kicked myself atleast 1000 times while returning home that day.

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It was moonlit night. We hold hands while watching the stars. She rested her head on my shoulder. If somebody would have recorded the scene, the video could have been easily mistaken for SRK's next flick. Her face glowed in the moonlight. I watched her watching the moon. I just stared blankly at her. She suddenly looked at me. As an instant reaction I started looking towards left. She laughed. Now you can be caught staring at me. Though I will kill you if you're caught looking at somebody else.- came the first disclaimer of 1,34,234,123 more to come.

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I was standing on the stage with her. I felt that I looked like a complete fool especially with she standing on my right. I saw my parents and her parents standing together infront of us. I tried hard to wake myself from the beautiful dream- but it didn't work. Maybe it was really happening. I got the ring, bent on my left knee and asked- Will you marry me? She laughed- I need more time. I hastily put the ring on her ring finger. I can't make the same mistake I once did before.. We posed from the camera and the pic has been my wallpaper ever since.

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Editor in chief Abhishek

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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Nostalgia



Few years back (Vadodra, Gujarat):

Hey Akshay! Look, my school, my mom shouted in joy. It was weird to see her clapping her hands like a small girl. For a 6 year old, mom is the most powerful person. She is the one who controls your destiny- from what you eat to what you wear to what you get beaten with. Seeing her acting like that confused me.
Come on ma! What a big deal! Just a building. That too in such a bad shape. Who likes the school anyway?
Mom mellowed down her excitement, but still stared at her school, seemingly lost in her thoughts and watched her school left behind as we drove through.
Hey why do you hate your school so much?
Ma! What is there to like about a school? Homework, Exercise, Wake up early, Dress, Punishment, Bullies- who in the world can love his school?
You'll realize some day.

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25 years later (Pune, Maharashtra):
(Life had moved on. I was working in a software firm. Married, settled. Ma was no more. But I knew she was still looking after me.)

Angel! Come on. Get ready for school. It's 8 a.m. already
Come on dad! Please let me sleep. I'm not going school today.
Angel, subah subah punishment chahiye kya? Chalo ready ho! Dress nikal di hai. And breakfast mein cornflakes khayenge. Jaldi!

I turned on the news. The headline said- "Today President will visit JK school in Kanpur and address students."
Angel angel! Come here. My school. See!
I was jumping with joy seeing my school in news footage.
Dad! She said, rubbing her eyes and looking confused - It's just a small building. What's the big deal?
I looked up facing the sky and said with a faint smile- You'll realize some day

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(Too much of a mushy story. Thought of deleting it, but then I'll post it anyways since I get very few opportunities to update this space now.)


Editor in chief Abhishek

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Thursday, August 4, 2011

The guy in the corner



"Excuse me? Is this the Strategic Inputs team?"
I stared at her. She was beautiful. She look lost. The blue butterfly clip on her head was shaking ferociously- as she was trying to look in all directions, trying to find her newly allotted team.

"Yes.There is the manager. You can talk to him"

I saw her going to the manager. They were talking and I saw two completely contradictory persons in same frame. Yin and Yang , Devil and the Angel.

"Guys she is Nikita. She will join our team. Let me introduce you to them".
Somehow the manager failed to introduce me. It was pretty obvious too. I was junior most member of the team. Pretty much non existent. I cursed my small town upbringing. I sulked in the corner of my team's cubicle and got back to coding. World was pretty small for me.

"Hey can you help me out. I need to attend a party today and I'll be really late."
I thought to myself-"Dude she is way out of league. You are just going to make a mockery of yourself. Don't harbor any feelings for her".
I helped her out and saw her leave. It felt magical talking to her. I shrugged myself to not to think any further and got back to work.

Life went on. I saw her little disturbed at times but I didn't ask her. It was none of my business.

"Oye kal kyon nahin aaya! Atleast inform to kar diya karo agar nahin aa rahe ho to!" I was shocked. I don't think anybody else from my team would have even noticed that I was absent yesterday. "Yaar thoda tabiyat kharab thi. Office ka khana " "Koi nahin. Kaam khatam kar lo. We'll go to McD for lunch".

"Hey! Why you did not came to office yesterday. I wanted the part of code you were working on", shouted my manager. Sigh!

Gradually we became close friends. I really loved her company. If you wanna label that as love,I really don't know and it didn't matter. All I know was we had good time.

A year passed.

"Hey I want to tell you something. Let's go for a tea". I wondered what it is. My codes were not running and the devil would be hunting me down soon. "I got an offer from ZS. I am quitting. Next week would be my last. I'm so excited. They even doubled my pay". I was shocked. All I could say is "Awesome! Let's have a party".

The week passed by. I felt helpless. Should I disclose my feelings? But she is just a good friend. She obviously had no regrets. The final day came. We had cake cutting ceremony, she got her relieving letter. Everybody said goodbyes. I came down to see her off. "Good Bye. It was nice to spend some time with you. Best of luck", I said.

She wanted to say something but then stopped and left. I would like to believe there was a tear in the corner of her eye. I came to my team cubicle, sat in the corner and started coding again.

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Fictional story inspired from life of one of my very close friend.

Editor in chief Abhishek

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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Daddy's little girl - as she was



She had a weird smile. A kind of smile that made her mysterious- layers of confusion, sadness and complexities wrapped neatly under that smile. Facing the world bravely, taking people head on- never letting anyone realize that she could be scared. Being the coolest girl in her neighborhood, very few people could have imagined that she might feel desperately homesick at times.

Daddy's little girl- as she was.
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Her experiences made me feel - maybe all love stories are not meant to end on a happy note. Or maybe the good ending in some love stories is saying goodbye forever. She had a very normal life- working seriously in office, partying with friends, handling weird followers, talking while eating, fiddling with her cell phone- typical girly habits. But behind that normal life was exceptional courage to make life normal, definite determination to end her relationship, for which she had already sacrificed a lot.

Daddy's little girl- as she was
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There was something that set her apart. Initially, I was quite intrigued - despite being so common what made her so uncommon. Slowly I realized it was the way she handled all her problems with dignity. World was falling apart and she was standing unfluttered in the middle of chaos peacefully. She was lonely and confused. Times had changed and even she had changed a lot. Staying away from home for the first time- she had a major overhaul. She loved this makeover- infact was enjoying it. She was more confident, suave and trendy. But on rare occasions, the little girl inside her- her true self would again dominate.

And then,once again, she would become the
Daddy's little girl- as she was
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[This post is dedicated to my little sister. I wish her all the best in life.
And as she says- sometimes bloggers tend to make things dramatic so that people read. IMHO this is not a dramatic representation of hers(though I am not aware of what exactly is going on in her life, hence this post is just my perception)]

Editor in chief Abhishek

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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Poem: Unanswered questions or unquestioned answers



Don't know why,

I feel so ecstatic.

who is this inside me,

that is so aesthetic?



Is it my own self?

Have I changed somehow??

or is it that I was like this only

but I have discovered it now..



Don't know how,

a breeze of change swayed me away.

Backtracking down the memory lane,

can't see the footprints on the way.



Don't know when,

an angel entered within me.

A world with fragrance of love

is all that I can foresee.



No answers to these questions,

but one thing is for sure.

The blessings of that angel

are so sacred and so pure.


PS- This poem is composed by my special one. I absolutely love the subtle abstractions.

Editor in chief Abhishek

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Wednesday, April 6, 2011

She hates love stories



Back in college, when you're "just" a friend - you try pretty hard to impress her.
Suddenly, you would start having same opinions, same hobbies and same likings as her.

If she hates cricket - you'll instantly add it's just a waste of time
If she is animal lover- you would feel like hugging the stray dog on the footpath (and chances are you just might have kicked the same dog while being drunk previous night)
If she loves peace- you press shift delete to all the war documentaries you have.


As for me, I am absolute sucker for romantic movies. So "50 First Dates" is the best movie ever made, "A Walk to Remember" makes me cry and I was heartbroken after Winny and Kevin broke up in the greatest television series ever made- "The Wonder Years" (Watch it if you have not watched it yet).

So here is a snapshot of discussion we usually used to have-

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(5 years back)

(Smiling)Hi, One of my friends gave me 50 First Dates.
(I was about to say- Oh My God! That's my fav movie too)
What a sissy movie.
(Now I'm confused).
Do you ever think such a person would really exist out there in world? I kept laughing at it the whole time.
(Making a disgusted face) Yeah! I don't know what was that person thinking while making that movie. He still had not come out of his dream world.
Absolutely. I don't understand love at all. What a stupid concept!
(And here I am falling flat in love with you) Yeah. Totally over-rated. People are so dumb. They actually feel that they can stay with one person for life time(even I do..what's the harm in that :banghead: )
I'm glad you think the same way. My friend who gave me was a sucker. He told me my husband will suffer for life. And I replied back to him - who is going to marry in first place?
(Stumped) You're not going to marry? Ever?
Yeah. You see I'm not the romantic kinds. I can't fall in love. I'm sure about it.
(Now I'm about to cry. What kind of girl are you? And I was thinking of what dress she'll wear in our marriage) Hehe. Me too. Who believes in that concept except for maybe Karan Johar?(and me.)
Now look at A Walk to Remember.
(No Please No! Why are you just picking MY movies) Why? What's the harm? I feel that there might be someone who might love her girlfriend so much that she might even marry her on her deathbed.
Hehe. Nice Joke. I really appreciate your sense of humor.
(Kicking myself). Hehe. I'm glad you didn't fall for that. I would say in real life that guy would just have got busy in finding himself another date.
Yes. I second. There is no guy who would do this
(Come on! I would) Yeah right.
Let me leave. I'll meet you later.

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(Today)

You're really bad. You made me like the romantic movies.
Why? What's the harm?
What kind of guy will propose a girl 50 times?
Oh no. Not again.
You're an exception. But majority won't.
I'm glad that atleast you said that.
I won't forgive you for making me like the romantic movies. I still feel they are sissy.
Yeah. I'm glad I did that.
And I won't forgive you for making me want to marry. I never ever wanted to marry. And you came and changed that. I hate you for that.
Is that a compliment?
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PS- The scene at the top is my favorite scene of all times(from Love Actually).I wished her Valentine day(4 years back) in the same way and it did wonders.

PPS- and that's why readers find ALL my posts to be hopelessly romantic.

Editor in chief Abhishek

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