Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Fancy Dress Competition

 "Mom, we have fancy dress competition in school tomorrow. What a stupid thing to do in school? Why don't we just study?"
Yes, I was a perfect nerd in school who loved to study and hated extra curricular activities (and who never studied once the school got over).
"Why don't I wear simple dress"
"And why would you do that? What would that represent?"
"I would be nobody. See how innovative. Everybody would try to resemble someone and I would be no one"

If ever my mom had a big facepalm moment, I guess this would be the one.

"No beta! See you need to resemble someone big, someone famous and one day become someone like that in future."
"But I don't want to become big or famous. I'd be happy just having a normal life" (maybe I'd shown early signs of epic laziness).
"There is no point debating with you. So you'd become Gandhi ji"
"And shave off my hair for a stupid competition. Nah. Let me become Hulk Hogan and I'll rip off my t-shirt when they ask me to enact"
"Hey bhagwan! What an insane child. I should not've read books of Osho before your birth. Ok. You'll become Jawahar Lal Nehru".

And so my fate was sealed. I was going to deliver India's independence speech in 1993 (instead of 1947) infront of some 50 dumb second graders (and not lakhs of Indian citizens) to cherish their freedom- something which second grader kids could only dream of. Next morning, the dumb students looked even dumber (with me leading the pack). 
There was one Mahatma Gandhi who was beating everyone with his stick, one Bhagat Singh who was silently sitting in the corner, one Sachin Tendulkar playing football with his water bottle cap and one Chanakya copying homework from his neighbor. 
I went to the stage with an ill fitted Kurta and Nehru cap (I bet real Nehru would have had better tailor) and delivered - "When the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom". I noticed few of the students waking their sideys- afraid that I was complaining about them sleeping in the class.
I didn't win the prize- it went to some stupid Michael Jackson. But it didn't matter- I hated dressing up and taking so much pain. I was glad that it was over. 

Then something really sad happened- I grew up. And I had to attend bigger and more serious fancy dress competitions- Indian weddings. And now I had two decision makers- my mom and my fiancee.

"What are you wearing tomorrow for your cousin's wedding", mom asked.
"Why? I'll wear a simple suit. Who is going to notice me anyways?"
"You know you're marrying an absolute idiot", my mom said to my fiancee.
"Hey, don't you watch TV soaps. You're supposed to be on my side and torture her", I shouted at my mom.
"We'll go and buy something for you. You just wear them" both said happily.

And then we started dressing up for another fancy dress competition. The stakes were extremely high- everyone wanted to have the best dress, best pictures shared on facbook, best envious and jealous looks and best small talk about other's expensive dress.
And yes, I got good free food! :)

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Saturday, August 25, 2012

Random Musings of a demented mind

It was a strange cold blue morning.
A small girl, wearing a pink sweater twice her size, was trying to catch the fog. She would jump, close her small fists, hold it tight for two minutes and prayed that the white creature would hold on in her hand. She would then open her fists in an instant, expecting to get amused, just to get disappointed. She repeated the exercise thrice before getting discouraged and confused She could not understand how a thing that is so clearly infront of her and she so desperately wanted was just nothing.

I laughed at the innocence of the girl. How foolish of her? She'll soon grow up and maybe stop being naive. Or maybe she would stop realizing that what she wanted ever was just nothing.

I stopped at a tea shop. Tea is the elixir when you stop feeling your hands. Tea is the elixir when your heart stops feeling the surroundings.

The tea owner was neatly tugged in an untidy brown old shawl with holes in between. I felt it to be pretty ironic. What was the purpose of existence of old shawl? It was supposed to cover the person but with such big holes, its whole purpose was getting defeated.

My mind wandered randomly. Who decided what was the purpose anyways? What is purpose exactly? What is my purpose?

Saab ji chai thandi ho rahi hai. The chai wallah broke my chain of thoughts.
The vapors from tea made me feel normal. Phew,what had happened to me, I thought. Why was I acting insane a moment before?

The school bus had arrived and little girl had left her dreams behind to run after new ones, maybe soon to realize that they would be nothing again.
The chai wallah, undmindful of holes in the shawl, was brimming with joy due to bumper sale and was packing up his stall.
The fog had cleared up. But many things were still foggy in my mind.
It was a strange cold blue morning.

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Saturday, September 24, 2011

The wallpaper

I watched her sitting in the corner of library. She had neatly arranged 5 pencils, 2 pens, 3 erasers, 1 blue marker, 2 black markers and 1 pink marker in front of her books- I could have completed my B.Tech and Ph.D (maybe double Ph.D) with that much of stationery. She fiddled with her hair- realized she was acting stupid, got conscious and looked around to see if anybody was watching. I quickly looked down to avoid being caught staring at her and started reading some text book that made no sense. Sadly, the book had to make sense soon, as I had my exam tomorrow- but then I looked above and got lost again.


I asked her for one final time- give me your answer in yes or no. She was feeling strained- I've not decided yet. I don't care. Give me an answer. I'll go mad without an answer. Yes.- she said. I felt guilty of forcing her to say yes. But then I looked at her. A drop of tear appeared on corner of her eye. I thought of being the devil- to accept the yes that was said forcefully. How could I let her go? I'm sorry for forcing you to give an answer. Just was irritated as have waited for more than a year now for your answer. I'll be there for you. Take your time. I kicked myself atleast 1000 times while returning home that day.


It was moonlit night. We hold hands while watching the stars. She rested her head on my shoulder. If somebody would have recorded the scene, the video could have been easily mistaken for SRK's next flick. Her face glowed in the moonlight. I watched her watching the moon. I just stared blankly at her. She suddenly looked at me. As an instant reaction I started looking towards left. She laughed. Now you can be caught staring at me. Though I will kill you if you're caught looking at somebody else.- came the first disclaimer of 1,34,234,123 more to come.


I was standing on the stage with her. I felt that I looked like a complete fool especially with she standing on my right. I saw my parents and her parents standing together infront of us. I tried hard to wake myself from the beautiful dream- but it didn't work. Maybe it was really happening. I got the ring, bent on my left knee and asked- Will you marry me? She laughed- I need more time. I hastily put the ring on her ring finger. I can't make the same mistake I once did before.. We posed from the camera and the pic has been my wallpaper ever since.

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