Kanpur-Gandhinagar-Bangalore-Calcutta

well not truly a short story..but still my first hopeless attempt at writing one...
Title- "That way"
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It is a cold winter morning. Woke up early. Everything outside seemed lifeless. I rubbed my hands to feel them. I tried to recall what was going on in my life. Seemed like remembering a bad dream.

I had a sort of good habit of going to a long sleep(you may call it hibernation) when things start going wrong and I find myself clueless. Yeah! I had decided I will ponder over it at morning tea. Ah! The mind seems so fresh now! How I survived yesterday? Anyways, what exactly was my problem? Let me remember...

Oh yeah! Wondering whether I made the right choice...

I had spent my last year cramming up vocab from Barron's and even had to pay a fortune for that torture. World seemed to be all "sunrise yellow" the day when I aced GRE. How painfully I had shortlisted the univs, brought those green color packets with my Statement of Purpose! Haha...What a piece of shameless self-appreciation that was! I dreamt about snow falls, chilly winter mornings, hamburgers, crisp dollars, Swarm Intelligence, New York. But then heart break started. Reject after reject till I forgot the count. Last count was 9 rejects, latest being University of New Jersey, my safe bet.

But the day finally arrived. I had casually forgotten about my application to Denmark University. How happy I was. I ran from my hostel to girls hostel to call her. It was early Sunday morning and even the stray dog of my college was rusty. Tring Tring! Hello...Abhishek here...I got one more reject *sob*..Where are you? Below your hostel..Wait I'm coming...Beep...Beep.. I planned to give her a big shock. She arrived. I wondered if I was happy at that moment because of the convert or because I saw her. Oh! I'm so sorry...You see it's not end of life...No..It's not the end...It's the beginning...I'm going to Denmark! What..You just said...Nah...was kidding...Oh my God! I'm so happy for you...Congrats...Hi5.... I don't know why but she was not happy. It felt like she was pretending to smile. I thought to myself is she jealous? nah! Maybe she was going to loose one of her good friends. Maybe some girlie stuff.

Friends! Yeah my problem is that. I don't want to remain just a friend! How hard I tried to convince her to say yes to me! But she remains defiant. We'll be good friends. That's it! Why? Why not marry me? I don't feel that way. That way? How in the world am I supposed to know what that way is? Would some lightning strike on you some day and it would dawn upon you that you love me? I know you love me...No...I don't feel that way about you...Again "That way"?? I was fed up of my feelings. Wish I could take them and throw in the dustbin which I was using as an ashtray.

What I'm supposed to do? If I leave for Denmark it would mean absolutely no contact with her. If I don't, I feel like a worthless friend who doesn't know when "That way" arrives or doesn' t arrive at all. I smoked and kept smoking till I realized Earth does go round and fell into hibernation.

I didn't see her after announcing her my admit. I boarded the plane, arrived to Copenhagen. Got a part time job at a small software firm near by, watched aimlessly at the snow falling from the sky. The world had suddenly turned "melancholy blue". It was when my phone rang...Tring! Tring! Abhishek...How are you? I'm fine...I'm really glad to hear from you, my angel...Abhishek I've told you na...Ya ya...I know...."That way" stuff...Listen I've a good news to share with you...I'm getting engaged....What! The world turned upside down for me. Somehow I gathered my strength and muttered the words...Congrats! What a great news! But let me tell you one thing...You won't be able to find a guy who loves you as much as me...Also who is as weird as me...Tried to make a futile attempt of making it sound as a joke with tears in my eyes...I know...*sob*...But then you had all those dreams of going abroad...Who am I to break them...And you know I'm only child of my parents who have done everything for me...Can I not sacrifice something for them....I wish you could have stayed back...I lo ......Oh am sorry! I should not say this...Now this is not right....Take care...Bye...Beep...Beep

What? I tried to call again but phone was switched off. Tried again. Spent my whole night trying the same number. But the same message. Switched off. Ran to get a new pack of cigarette. But no new message yet again. That's when I passed out.

Oh, the tea is ready. Where is my smoke? Yeah, found it. I never knew I would have to pay such a heavy price for the option I choose. I never thought that sometimes your intuition is damn right. I should have realized she loved me. "That way" was always there. I wish I could just run back. Let me check if there is any train to Bangalore. Man! I forgot I'm out of India. It's the snow fall that I had always wished to see...It's the hamburger...the swarm intelligence research paper I'm working on...not quiet New York but still exploring Copenhagen...Now I would like to give up all this any day for the second option....

The world seems a little different today...It seems like turning into "hopeless black"........


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